Fat Phuck’s Guide to LA Sushi

What’s good y’all? Today we talkin’ bout one of yer boy’s favorite types of food in this whole muhfuckin universe. We talkin’ bout the only kinda food yer boy gets crack-head like cravings for on the regular. Today we spittin’ that sushi game. By this point y’all know yer boy gets down on an assortment of cuisines on the regular, and I’m down with all that shit, but I’d be straight up lying if I didn’t say I got a special place in my tummy for them gangsta ass Japanese delights. Since sushi’s one of them foods yer boy know a thang or two bout, Imma give y’all a rundown on the different types of spots you’ll find in the LA sushi game. To make it easy, Imma break it up into 3 categories – baller ass spots, bitch ass spots, and gangsta ass spots.

Baller Ass Spots

First up we got baller ass spots. These sushi joints is stacked with celeb caliber chefs with names like Nobu and Katsuya slicin up the fish. Baller ass spots are usually located in fancy buildings laced with fine dining interiors and are great for special occasions, balling out with the homies, or treating you boo thang to a nice meal. Y’all know if you bring you boo thang to a baller ass spot it’s ON after dinner, ya feelin’ me? On the real though, when you droppin big bills on sushi you know that shit’s gonna be dank.

Bitch Ass Spots

Bitch ass spots is them sushi places you wanna avoid at all costs, y’all. I’m talkin bout when you see pre-made shit floatin’ round the sushi bar. You ain’t knowin how long them crusty lil betches been sitting there. I’m talkin bout when you see “50% off all sushi” on the menu. If you food game is even slightly on point, you know that 50% off price is the regular price. Who them sumbetches think they foolin with that bullshit? If you seein’ “All You Can Eat” or “99 cent sushi”, you found you a bitch ass spot. If you wanna be a bitch ass then hit that shit up and remember yer boy told ya so.

Gangsta Ass Spots

Gangsta ass spots is yer boy’s favorite kinda place to straight grub down on some raw fish. Gangsta ass spots focus on all the good shit yer boy be lovin’ bout sushi, and take out all that other BS. The quality of fish you’ll find at a gangsta ass spot is gonna be right on par with a baller ass spot, but you ain’t gonna find any of that frilly fancy atmosphere shit up in there. Who needs that shit anyway, ya know what I’m sayin’? You can usually smash on a lot of dope sushi at a gangsta ass spot for $50 or less. It ain’t rare to find a gangsta ass sushi spot in a ghetto looking building, but don’t be fooled y’all, cause theres some real Japanese sushi G’s behind the bar ready to make y’all asses some of that real shit. One of the most gangsta ass sushi spots yer boy’s ever smashed on in LA is Noshi Sushi, and I’ll have a full review on that muhfucka real soon.

Aiight, y’all. Follow yer boy’s advice above and you sushi game will be on point in no time. If y’all got any gangsta ass sushi spots you wanna share, get at yer boy in the comments or on Twitter. All this sushi talk making me hungry as fuck. Imma go smash on some spicy tuna. Peace out y’all.

7 thoughts on “Fat Phuck’s Guide to LA Sushi

  1. FP;

    LUVS me some sushi. Thanks for posting! If you ever make it to the 707, hit up the Matsuri sushi in VJO. Solid. Order the Pink Lady and be sure to ask for the seaweed salad. And don’t forget their bad ass desserts!

    Thanks for posting!

    Liked by 1 person

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